Bit of an iffy day so far. I think because I didn’t find my jam, nothing to grip onto and focus on. I sort of did stuff and then here I am. No big revelations or big new things!
In the morning I was outside drawing for a few hours. I went to St Nicholas Chapel and walked around it.
I was drawn to the rocks again.
I came back to the studio and ended up painting this pathway from memory. I had been looking at this exhibition The Moth and The Thunderclap at Modern Art, London and had these soft, small, gentle, reminiscent paintings in my head, there are lots of those in the exhibition. So I made this little 9×10″ oil painting on paper:
I have also been reading more of the book Art and Fear. Newest takings from it is that I have so much to learn from my old paintings; contained within them are potential future paintings and lessons from the past too. I have been in a habit for years now of finishing a painting, unstretching it, rolling it up, and not looking at it again. I would like to buy more stretchers so that I can keep work out, pick it back up, think about sharing it, reworking it etc.
For the first time in a long time, I don’t have any backlog of paintings in my mind. I realise that coming here. I don’t have any paintings I need to get down. I feels very freeing. Looking back at the work I was doing over the past 9 months, a lot of it was based ideas I had been meaning to do for a long time.
The work I am doing now is of now. That’s really exciting. I want to be open to my work changing quite a bit as a result. As in, approaching new ideas, trying new things, rather than being caught by ideas from the past.
Who am I? What am I trying to do? Questions that have been ringing in my head for the past few days. I guess I have to feel the here and now, because that is me! This is what I’m doing! Rather than theorising about afar, just really listen to here, now.